Posts Tagged ‘customer’
Image - Book Cover by Charles Memminger. Courtesy of publisher.
Today I would like to share with you my compilation of short true stories that took place at the Restaurant X on the course of the last year. None of them deserves enough attention to stand out and shine on its own, but hopefully at least one of them will make you smile or even laugh…
Complainers
1) I waited on ridiculously annoying old people the other day. First they complained that steaming coffee wasn’t hot enough for them. One of them followed me to the bar on his crotches to make sure that bartender poured enough bourbon in his Manhattan. The highlight of their dining experience was to send back a screwdriver (vodka/oj). Why? Because the color of orange juice was not orange…it was yellow!!!
2) My food runner tried to serve Spaghetti Bolognese to a wrong table, but quickly recovered. The plate didn’t even touch the table. Unfortunately a guest who ordered spaghetti at the nearby table observed the whole process with pure hatred on his red face. He was staring at his plate all the time trying to hypnotize it, but he never made a contact with it. Every single time I checked on him he said everything was “ok”. In the end of the meal he was looking so miserably like his relative has died, but when I asked one more time if anything was wrong, he jerked : “NOTHING!” I offered to take away the plate and pack it to go – he refused the offer. A few minutes later he asked for a check in a surprisingly calm voice, but his face read willingness to see me on the death raw. I guess a BIG FAT zero tip was hardly a punishment to compensate for his ruined day. Credit to the food runner.
Tippers
1) My friend, Jack, the bartender was laughing telling me this. Although he got stiffed on $80 check. A couple of Italians were ecstatic about “De-li-ci-o-oo-us Mojitoes” – each of them had three rounds. Mojitoes usually make the list of the most “pain-in-the-ass” drinks to make. When finally Jeff said “Arivederci!” to the happy tourists, instead of a tip he discovered a bus transfer next to check presenter. The transfer was expired…
2) Ghetto kids had a lunch celebration at our place. One of them just turned 21; he ordered a round of beers first happily flashing his ID in my face. A few minutes after birthday boy asked for champagne telling his buddy:”Yo Bro, we gonna put it on Facebook… Popping champagne and shit…”When I brought them a set up to crack Alaskan King Crab Legs, which they obviously never had before, kids thought that crab cracking tools and a steak knife are there for them to act the episode from SAW 3. I had to calm them down as guests at the neighboring table began to complain. I couldn’t help myself laughing when I saw one of them trying to get through the spiky crab shell with his teeth. My professional demonstration on how to use cracking tools definitely saved his gums from bleeding for which I was rewarded with a $5 tip. Should I mention that the check was $180?
Racist brain via Inspiration Room
It is often discouraging to work at the tourist place or tourist trap mostly because it doesn’t attract regular customers. Sometimes it is fortunate to work at the tourist place or trap for the same reason. From my experience half of the regulars are lunatics; once in a while you will come across of particular nutcase that will be remembered for the rest of your life if won’t be a part of your worst nightmares.
Let’s call him Asian dude. He looks about sixty five, but I won’t be surprised to find out that he’s eighty. You know how Japanese people exploit rice and seafood to their rejuvenating advantage. How do I know he’s Japanese? Well, that’s what he confessed to one of my co-workers, Dan, a German looking gay-bear-type waiter. “Are you from the South?” – he asked Dan. The reason why he asked that question instead of inquiring on the restaurant specialties remained a mystery until he requested that EVERYTHING BLACK will be removed from the table including black pepper shaker, black straw for his sprite and black basket for the bread. He also put a white sheet of paper under his butt so he won’t be sitting on blackish leather chair. Oh, did I mentioned that he was dressed in all white from his socks to his dyed freaky hair. He would order Chicken Alfredo or Ceacer salad with chicken. NO PEPPER. He would complain on our black aprons and , of course, if he would sense dark-skinned mexican busboys within five feet from his table, the tip he normally leaves decreases from 10% to 1%.
He got banned from all of the neighborhood eateries with the exception of restaurant X. Once, however, he showed up in particularly cheerful mood and asked for all the waiters to line-up like in massage parlor… The host politely asked him to get the fuck out and we missed him for about year. I owe the inspiration for this blog entry to his latest visit a few days ago; he told me about black construction workers drilling a hole right next to his apartment. It must be a conspiracy.
It is so easy to make your waiter fall in love with you, but many prefer otherwise. This guide, although incomplete, will partially transform ignorant guests to somewhat nice ones.
- When your waiter comes over and greets you, smile at him/her and say: “Hi”. Simple as that. Do not overdo with friendliness, no crazy smiles. You will be surprised to find out how many guests just ignore you or give you a brainless look. Some of them are so scared to dine in the restaurant, so they prefer not to look at the waiter at all.
- Do not ask stupid questions such as: “What do you have?” “Do you have steak?” etc., or questions that make you look cheap: “How much is the beer?” “Do you serve free bread?” “Does it come with soup and salad?” Not only these questions diminish your value as a respectable customer and human being, but they also take time to answer. Remember, for the restaurant business workers time is everything. This leads us to
- Try to save time for your server. Besides unnecessary questions, this rule applies to indecisive guests, who take more than 15 minutes to order. If you’re one of those, please, let you server know that you would like to take your time and preferable enjoy a cocktail rather than a glass of tap water.
- Do not create your own menu. You might like you baked potato sprinkled with bacon and cheddar , but if that’s not an option in the menu, please, avoid modifying. Of course, some substitutions could be easy and if it is not a rush hour, you waiter will be more than happy to switch some side dishes or add mushrooms on your filet mignon. But keep in mind that it takes additional time and requires an extra effort.
- Keep your table neat and don’t eat like a pig. The worst customers are those who ask for bread before they order and shake over breadcrumbs all over the menus. The best are the ones who move aside dirty plates and silverware to make it easier for a waiter or busser to remove them.
- Try not to get too personal with your waiter -this one, of course, goes both ways. If you can’t suppress you urge to ask for your waiter’s name and where is he from, do it in a friendly manner, but never to yell his name every time he’s passing by.
“WE KNOW THE ASSHOLE WHEN WE SEE ONE” 
As a bonus here’s one of my favorite videos from You Tube’s waiter celebrity YourDailyTip.
Many establishments foolishly assume that providing the lowest prices will inevitably attract the regulars and make them stay. However, besides premium tequila there are several more components of the perfect margarita. Small details will come into play and will ultimately decide which place will be more populated on Tuesday night. When I go out I take notice of the staff demeanor, ambiance and finally quality of the drinks or food. Does it mean that the price is not important? Of course, not. However, given our everlasting recession, I suggest that sooner than later prices will become less of differentiator as EVERY SINGLE hospitality business, from burger joint to the most spectacular fine-dining venue, will have to start charging less to compete for scarce customers. This is especially true in regards to non-traditional hours and slow seasons. So, let’s spend some time on the secondary ingredients which will satisfy or disgust your potential customers.
Today we will focus on staff demeanor and more importantly on the dynamics of interaction between a service industry employee and a customer.
It doesn’t matter where you work, how good your food or drinks are, if you have a shitty bartender or server with attitude you will lose. Many business owners are confused in prioritizing professional qualities of their staff. They believe that besides service knowledge, all you need is a friendly attitude. From my experience, the one most important quality of any hospitality industry employee is ability to read a customer. It’s almost like poker. When you see a couple having a romantic dinner or wine at the bar, you don’t want to bother them with your jokes and tricks. How do you know if they need some attention? Believe me, they will tell you or will give you a sign. On the other hand, a single guy who comes to a bar and orders vodka on the rocks most likely needs some attention. The key to the game is never to be rude and annoying and to enjoy people’s company.
A few days ago, me and my buddy decided to discuss our new project over a few beers at the first bar we could find. It was happy hour, of course, and drafts were around $3.50. It was busy; we couldn’t get a table, so we had to seat by the bar and a middle-aged hippy bartender assumed that entertaining us was his duty. Unfortunately, his jokes were disaster and he never bothered to take notice that we were trying to have a private conversation. You might say that we shouldn’t go to the bar for a business meeting, especially, during the happy hour, and you’re right – I won’t, probably do it again. But my point is that the simple skill of reading a customer and anticipating his needs is extremely underrated and should be paid more attention while training your staff.
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