Grey Goose Blog

Posts Tagged ‘howto’

Recently I’ve read one of Google’s most highly ranked hospitality article by Bruce Buschel, “100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do” . The author occasionally blogs in NY Times section dedicated to small business. Excellent writer, I give him that, but some of the points made, uncover his ignorance detachment from the service industry. Let me comment on some of his faulty “rules” which I placed under the following categories: “common sense”, “optional” and simply “wrong”.

1. Common Sense – It shouldn’t be written about, because it is well-known and being followed by every restaurant employee, who is not a complete idiot.

Rule #16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.

Like anybody does!? If you’re pouring an extra sauce on somebody’s food you shouldn’t be working in a restaurant. You must be locked in a mental institution and shouldn’t be anywhere close to the food. It’s just a common sense.

2. Optional – it really depends on situation and behavior of the guest. Sometimes stepping away from the rule is inappropriate, sometimes it is highly encouraged.

Rule #7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.

Although I usually don’t introduce myself, at least not during our first interaction, I like to leave that privilege for myself to decide. Depending on the guest I might throw a joke or two – it’s not a crime.

Rule #41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.

It also goes the other way. I somebody asks: “Can I have some extra dressing for my salad?” “My pleasure” – would suck.

3.Wrong –  My experience tells me that this rules should never be followed. Under no circumstances.

Rule # 32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.

Absolutely missed here. Friendly tap on the shoulder works amazingly great. I read it in my first waiter’s manual from Susie Ross and thanks to this invaluable advice my ROI from guests went to the roof. Nobody complained ever.

The list goes on and on… So, check out the link and find this boring bunch of useless amendments, which might help a rookie restaurateur or server to make his first steps. They only useful tip that I found for myself is rule #23 If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc. This, actually, might work.

Bruce anticipates criticism of his rules by making a point that “if 100 different actors play Hamlet, hitting all the same marks, reciting all the same lines, cannot each one bring something unique to that role?” Yes, of course. However, often used comparison of waiting on a table and playing a role on stage is only appropriate when the play is unscripted. There’s a huge difference between dialog and monolog and there is more interaction between a waiter and a customer, than between an actor and a spectator. Why not offering the lobsters to somebody you feel might enjoy them? Why not joke or flirt a bit when a guest in a mood to talk? Why not to compliment a customer choice?

I would do all of the above depending rapport established between me and guests. When you’re in the business for many years, THERE IS NO RULES. There is only professionalism, common sense and a customer who most of the times deserves to have an enjoyable dinner.

It is so easy to make your waiter fall in love with you, but many prefer otherwise. This guide, although incomplete, will partially transform ignorant guests to somewhat nice ones.

1. When your waiter comes over and greets you, smile at him/her and say: “Hi”. Simple as that. Do not overdo with friendliness, no crazy smiles. You will be surprised to find out how many guests just ignore you or give you a brainless look. Some of them are so scared to dine in the restaurant, so they prefer not to look at the waiter at all.
2. Do not ask stupid questions such as: “What do you have?” “Do you have steak?” etc., or questions that make you look cheap:  “How much is the beer?” “Do you serve free bread?” “Does it come with soup and salad?” Not only these questions diminish your value as a respectable customer and human being, but they also take time to answer. Remember, for the restaurant business workers time is everything. This leads us to
3. Try to save time for your server. Besides unnecessary questions, this rule applies to indecisive guests, who take more than 15 minutes to order. If you’re one of those, please, let you server know that you would like to take your time and preferable enjoy a cocktail rather than a glass of tap water.
4. Do not create your own menu.  You might like you baked potato sprinkled with bacon and cheddar , but if that’s not an option in the menu, please, avoid modifying. Of course, some substitutions could be easy and if it is not a rush hour, you waiter will be more than happy to switch some side dishes or add mushrooms on your filet mignon. But keep in mind that it takes additional time and requires an extra effort.
5. Keep your table neat and don’t eat like a pig. The worst customers are those who ask for bread before they order and shake over breadcrumbs all over the menus. The best are the ones who move aside dirty plates and silverware to make it easier for a waiter or busser to remove them.
6. Try not to get too personal with your waiter -this one, of course, goes both ways. If you can’t suppress you urge to ask for your waiter’s name and where is he from, do it in a friendly manner, but never to yell his name every time he’s passing by.

“WE KNOW THE ASSHOLE WHEN WE SEE ONE”

As a bonus here’s one of my favorite videos from You Tube’s waiter celebrity YourDailyTip.

1.       “Hi there…(big smile). We just had a huge lunch and we are here only for dessert… Can we get some bread and butter to start with?”

2.       “Nothing to drink. Only some water with lemons…and sweet’n’low.”

3.       As soon as you sit down at the table start waving and snapping at your waiter.

4.       A waiter comes over, greets you and introduces himself. You don’t notice and keep carrying out a conversation in a foreign language.

5.       A waiter comes over, greets you and introduces himself. You: “What’s up!!??”

6.       While he’s taking your drink order: “Do you have that cocktail that is kind of green… and has a pineapple juice in it? I forgot the name, but ask the bartender he should know.”

7.       While he’s taking your drink order “I’m not a wine kind of guy. What is the cheapest that you have?”

8.       Tell a waiter that you’re ready to order. Then blank stare at the menu for a minute and ask him “So…What is good?”

9.       Ask your waiter to describe a special of the day. Then ask what he recommends. Pause for a few seconds (you face should express deep and intense thought), then say: “You know what, I’ll just have a burger with fries.”

10.   The first thing you tell to your waiter: “I have to let you know that I don’t believe in tipping”